We were just children playing a game and no parent would assume that their child is playing that sort of game. At some point, I remember brushing her lips with my thumb and stroking the side of her face briefly. But then, she popped the question. When I told my sister, she insisted I try again. To this day, I love discovering how different every woman is.
From time to time, my memory takes me back to those years. Nobody offered to send me dick pics straight away, or got mad when I said I wasn't interested. I am finally having this experience. Before we could smoke the entire cigarillo, her lips were pressed against mine and my tongue was in her mouth. Child sex play is just as normal as masturbation, is part of childrens curiousity and exploration.
When I did finally open up to a few close friends, they were shocked but also proud of me, and I loved that. On that particular day, I would encounter the woman that turned my fantasy into a reality. It was exciting, and I felt very close to her, but it makes me feel guilty now, because I was the eldest and I should have known better. I cried every day for about three months, then downloaded Tinder, as I thought it might help me move on. That night, I had been looking for a guy to dance with or hook-up with, to no avail. As luck would have it, 2 years later, she came to work at my agency. Between then and the beginning of my freshman year of college, I kissed two more boys.
However, after watching the video, our version of the game became far too realistic. Nothing will get your mind off of your own drunken decisions better than listening to those of your friends. It happened to me exactly 20 years ago, and yet today is the first time I dared to search for anything related to the issue and found Your story. We danced and drank and I stepped on her toes the entire night. My friends wanted to know what happened. The first time we hung out, we drove around, talked about life and as I was about to leave she grabbed my hand and pulled me in close.
At first, it reminded me that there were people who could fancy me. Lots of limbs everywhere and fumbling around. Luckily she was a lot less inhibited than me and she made the first move. Sex with a woman brought out a mysterious, daring side that nobody expected, including myself. Nobody offered to send me dick pics straight away.
I had never been with a woman but wanted to dive in head first like those people in the old Nestea commercials. Then she arched one eyebrow, stood up, insisted on paying for our drinks and pulled me out onto the street. The only thing I can do with my story is share it and accept that it mine. I looked at those stars every night of the next year when I was placed in her old room after she graduated. There were no video tapes or internet back then so we kept ourselves entertained by building forts and playing in tree houses and would put on towels as capes pretending to be the most common super heroes such as Super Man and Batman. I was in my very early teens and was really close friends with her.
I had a second threesome a few years later, with different people, and I went down on the woman. Outside of having no clue what to do…. However, she outgrew the desire to be over my knee with her bottom bared at around 8, when she was into more girly things. She was already there when I arrived, sitting on a black velvet seat in the back corner of the bar, and wearing the tight black dress from her photo. I do not know exactly how long we played the game but it must have gone on regularly for at least two or three years.
When the day came, I was so nervous because I was aware that the experience would mean I was admitting something to myself I had to find a way to ignore. I had never once questioned my sexuality. The most simplistic explanation was that daddy loves mommy and the parents took it from there. . It started with one of the younger neighbour boys showing me a boy how to masturbate when I was 8 or 9, with my little sister looking on 2 years younger. For women who are nervous… Go for it! Anyway, this is part of childhood, and there is no negative effect, you have nothing to be shamed about.